I bet most people reading this have something they don’t like about themselves. Something they’ve spent hours and hours wishing they could change.
For me, it was my boobs.
They’re small. I’ve always felt self concious about them (despite spending some of my life earning a living from them) and I desperately wanted a boob job for most of my life. I can remember being as young as 13 and daydreaming about the day I could afford to get the operation and thinking that if only I had bigger boobs, everything would be great.
But I’ve made peace with my small boobs. In fact, it’s better than that. I actually like them. I think they look great! I spent almost 20 years of my life disliking this part of my body, and wanting to change it and now I just think it is such a shame that I wasted so much time worrying about it.
So why the change? Well partly I think it’s just because I’ve grown up, and slowly I have realised that my worth is not defined by my appearance. But it’s also because I’ve invested time in actively trying to change some of those destructive thought patterns. I followed the 4 steps below, and slowly but surely my viewpoint began to change.
1. I stopped trying to change them. I stopped dressing to cover them up or hide them. I stopped wearing padded bras. Instead, I accepted them for what they are, small boobs! I also bought myself some lovely, pretty bralets that fitted properly and made me feel sexy.
2. I set up a Pinterest board. I talked about this in an earlier blog post. It can be hard to appreciate your own body. Really hard. I find it helps when you see the feature you dislike on yourself on someone else. For some reason its so much easier to appreciate how nice they look. Eventually you start realising that if you can appreciate how they look, you can appreciate how you look too.
3. I focused on what my body does for me, not how it looks. My small boobs nourished 2 healthy boys. My thick thighs help me smash my deadlift PBs. These things are more important that how my body looks. Even if it is sometimes hard to remember that.
4. I realised that happiness is not actually dependent on getting the body you want. Look to cultivate happiness in your life, and how your body looks will seem less important.
It may seem impossible now, but sometimes learning to love yourself is as simple as just deciding that you are worth loving. So please, don’t waste a single second longer hating your flat chest, your big nose or any other ‘flaw’. Focus on the good and eventually that is all you will see.